Last week my husband, bless his heart he makes me take care of myself, made me make a doctor’s appointment for my ongoing postpartum depression.

Backstory:  The first of the year our insurance company, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of South Carolina, decided a lot of the medicines I take for both my asthma and my PPD were just not correct and made me either pay full price (Lexipro was almost $200 for a 30 day supply), or my doctor, who obviously, according to them, did not know what she was doing when she prescribed these life saving prescriptions, needed to put me on something else (aka, something cheaper for them to pay for than what I was currently taking).  So, off the wonderful Lexipro I went, onto a generic form of another drug.  This drug only took the edge off my PPD.  It kept my panic attacks from exploding and becoming uncontrollable, but I was still weepy and anxious and very irritable.  In a nutshell:  it wasn’t helping me much at all.

So, yesterday he accompanied me to the doctor’s office and helped explain, from another view point, what was going on.  I am now on Wellbutrin.  I took one as soon as we filled the prescription at CVS, even though she warned us that taking later in the day (you are supposed to take it first thing in the morning) would likely result in my not being able to sleep at bedtime.  (BTW, yes, I had trouble sleeping, but it was SO worth it!)

I feel so balanced out, emotionally.  I was able to play with the two little ones on the bed last night, instead of freaking out that their antics were going make them fall off the bed and break something (yes, PPD makes me completely insane with anxiety over the stupidest thing).  Freaking out usually leads to my extreme irritability, because of me feeling so out of control – like how I will sometimes cry if I get really angry at someone (legit angry, not PPD angry).  I have personal control issues which the PPD figured out and ran with all the way to China and back.

Today has been even better, so far.  Apparently, this is also used to treat ADD and ADHD (I went off Ritalin when we trying to conceive Rowan and just never had it re-prescribed because of the hassle), so I am also able to focus and retain some short term memory (I remembered several things for work I had forgotten about last night).

To summarize:  This drug is, so far, completely awesome.  So you can cancel that tailoring appointment I had for the white jacket with the extra long sleeves.

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